


if looks could kill

by sylphh (icelandicc)



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Sitcom eqsue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 07:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11641785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icelandicc/pseuds/sylphh
Summary: Raine would be dead three times over.





	if looks could kill

**Author's Note:**

> another useless bunch of words scraped together?? its cute tho i think. colette is cute i love colette

It was summer in the backwater town of Iselia; the cicadas were singing, the sun was beating down relentlessly, and Raine was pouring over her cookbooks with dedication akin to that of a madwoman. Genis had been staring at the wall for well over three minutes now, and was silently wondering if he was going insane. Lloyd was having trouble keeping his eyes open as he polished his already very clean swords. Colette was curled up in the corner reading a book on the mythos of Sylvarant, pausing every now and then to remind Lloyd that if he fell asleep he’d impale himself. So it was, overall, a very normal day.

“How much longer, Raine?” Genis murmured monotonously, still staring blankly at the wall. He’d given up on playing with his kendama a few minutes previous, having been playing with it for so long that it no longer provided him with any sort of challenge, or even cheap entertainment. Raine flipped forward in the book she was currently on, before returning to the previous page, and then flipping forward again. She was locked in some sort of trance of deep concentration. Genis groaned and leaned forward, letting his head lay against the wall.

“Lloyd, stay awake.” Colette quipped, not even looking up from her book. Lloyd shook himself back to reality and returned to obsessively polishing a single spot on his left hand blade.

“I’ve got it!” Raine’s sudden outburst shocked everyone in the room enough to make them jump, effectively waking everyone from their zombie-like state. Lloyd dropped one of his swords and Genis almost fell off the bed he was sitting on. Colette frowned because she’d lost her place in the book.

“Finally, after all these years.” Raine grinned. Genis raised an eyebrow.

“It’s only been four hours.”

“It  _ felt _ like years.” Lloyd muttered as he reached down to retrieve his sword. Colette was still distracted with finding her place in the book.

“The secret to cooking, that had been hidden from me for so long, is now finally brought into the light! The technique that everyone had been keeping from me, the motivation that I was lacking, and the skills that I so desperately longed for, all finally are within my grasp!” Genis gave her a concerned look. Judging by her hysteric tone of voice, she was entering “lunatic mode” again.

“What did you find out?” Colette asked, dog-earring the page she had finally located. Raine looked up at her with a scary light behind her eyes.

“ _ Everything _ .” She whispered eerily. And with that, she stood up, rattling the table she’d been using, and moved off into the kitchen with a distinctive air of determination.

* * *

 

Genis wrung his hands nervously.

“This isn’t good; this isn’t good.” He murmured, biting his lip. Colette had finally put down her book, taking the sword polish from Lloyd as to stop him from continuing with his, by now, very much overdone task. He frowned, but sheathed his swords and laid them by the doorframe.

“What’s the plan, Genis?” Colette asked as she shelved the sword polish. Genis looked up at her and sighed.

“It isn’t much of a plan but…”

“Just tell us! I’m so bored I could go for cleaning Noishe’s stall right now.” Lloyd ran a hand through his hair with an annoyed puff of breath at Raine’s insistence at locking them all in the house until she’d revealed the secrets of cooking once and for all. Genis paused for a moment, then nodded.

“Alright, here it is…”

* * *

 

“Just a pinch of sulfur…” Raine said from behind her oversized gas mask. If that wasn’t a sign of danger to come, the extensive set of winding tubes and beakers certainly was. Various colors of liquid ran up and down and through the tubes, pooling in a pan that sizzled on the stove over a low flame. It smelled distinctly of poison.

As the sulfur fell into the pan, seemingly in slow motion, Genis and the others burst into the room. A mini-explosion shook the building as the pan combusted, along with all of the tubes, each bursting after the other in a weird, high-pitched symphony of breaking glass. 

Genis barely had time to shout “Spread!” before the explosion drowned out his voice. Thankfully, as he had foreseen this outcome, the arte extinguished all the fires as they erupted.

After all the noise and light and smoke had cleared out for the most part, Raine examined the wreckage curiously. She ran a finger through the goop that had splattered across the stove, counters, and one half of the fridge, letting it drip off her finger as she stared at it in mild confusion and slight irritation.

“Hm, too much sulfur?” If looks could kill, Raine would be dead three times over.


End file.
